Strange bedtime behavior

[Chris Smith]

Since I adopted Nalu at 4 months old, he has always slept on his dog bed which is in my room. He never really tried to get on my bed although I think he was just too small to jump up and I never put him on the bed.

In an effort to bond with him after having him for a month or so, I started teaching him to cuddle and to accept more affection which included him being allowed on the bed or couch when he was invited up.

Well...one thing led to another and I started getting "soft" with getting him off the bed and he slept up there a couple of nights (I think I liked it as much as him) but he would go back to his bed when I told him to. For the past 5-6 weeks, he has been sleeping on the bed regularly. I know, I know. I caused the problem and all of my excuses (he was sick, I was out of town and boarded him so feeling guilty, etc.) aren't doing me any good now.

So here's the problem. Not only is he refusing to sleep on his bed now, he did a very odd behavior last night. I kept putting him down on his bed and within one second he would jump back onto my bed. We did this about 10 times. No barks, whines, or noise - just an immediate jump back up.

Well, I think I started stressing him out because after about 8 times of this, when he jumped up he climbed on top of me in bed and sort of mounted me. He is a neutered male who has never humped another dog, pillow, toy or anything. But instead of laying down next to me on the bed, he straddled me, and sort of humped or at least seemed to be trying to hold me down. He looked so stressed and worried. I finally gave up again and let him sleep on the bed. Once I gave in, he curled up next to me and fell asleep.

Any ideas what's going on here? Am I causing more problems/stress for Nalu now? Should I tether him to his bed?

[Andre Mendizabal]

Dear Chris, this is the big mistake most of us parents of spoiled pooches do, and it is allowing them to sleep in our bed when we actually don't want it to be an every-night thing. This just happened to me... and well, you have the answer right there, retrain him to sleep on his bed, that's what I'm doing with Nala since the weekend, its been tough and I usually fall asleep with her sleeping in her bed and wake up to her sleeping in my bed, not only in my bed but over me!!!! Anyway, have patience and just retrain him, or get used to sleeping with him, just in case this whole sleeping in her bed doesn't work, we are bed-shopping for a larger bed!!!! :D
The humping think, my guess is he thinks you guys are playing and that's part of the game!!!

[Luciann]

Chris

I am not sure what you should do. I know that the first night i had Frodo i had said that he was not going to sleep with me but he cried and cried so i went and got him well that was the end of it he won the war. the minute he was with me he stopped crying and he curled up and went to sleep right next to my neck. mind you he is a chihuahua and was small. Now i have two and they both sleep with me, neither is a bed hog and honestly i cannot sleep without them.

but i agree with Andre, it is going to be an all or nothing. Either they are never allowed on the bed or they are always allowed to sleep on the bed otherwise they get confused. you might consider that if you want to cuddle with him to do it on the living room floor or on the couch

[Melissa Brunoehler]

Should I tether him to his bed?

Yes. that way there will not be confusion & you won't be doing the on the bed/ off the bed dance.

[Peggy Jensen]

I have been told by a behaviorist that if you let a dog sleep with you they will think they are on the same social level and will become dominant and/or agressive.
Has anyone eIse heard this?
I pretty much have agreed with this guy's training and all, except for that. My baby has pretty much been sleeping with me for the last couple of years, I have tried making him sleep in his crate, but he stays in there all day while I am at work and I just cannot in good conscience make him stay there all night too. To tell you the truth I just love to feel him cuddled up by me, he is a 34 lb. mini-schnauzer, but what the heck, it's just me! I can't really sleep without him there.

[Valerie K]

I asked our vet about this and what she said is if the dog has dominance issues, then sleeping in the bed can be a problem. If the dog is generally well-behaved and doesn't have these issues (ours don't) then sleeping on the bed is fine as long as we are comfortable with it. Well, we wish we had bought a king size instead of a queen, but that is our only complaint with having them in there with us!

Also, we don't let the girls in the bedroom during the day, the only time they go in there is when we tell them at night that it is time to go to bed (actually, the minute we turn off the tv they jump up and run for the stairs) and they have been trained (mostly) to not get off the bed until we tell them it is ok. This way they get the idea that there are some rules attached, I know where they are when we are all sleeping, and if one does jump off during the night, I know she is sick and needs immediate attention (I am a light sleeper). At least our dogs sleep on top of the covers. When I was a kid, our mini-schnauzer liked to sleep under them and would nudge you to lift the covers up so she could go under...

[Chris Smith]

Thanks for the responses. I know I caused the behavior (him not sleeping in his bed now), but I am less concerned about that and basically know what I need to do change it and get him back to his bed.

I was mostly worried about the odd "humping and mounting" behavior he was exhibiting and not sure if he was trying to gain back control, or dominate me, or if this was a stress reaction.

Nalu is very sensitive to me being mad at him - he gets a scared look on his face, sort of cowers and sits by himself in a corner, and usually throws up. He did throw up in the morning after the repeated attempts to get him off the bed. I have never hit him or used any type of force with him - nothing but +R and ignoring. But I don't know his background...

I don't want to have him fear me or get so stressed out that he vomits or starts humping things by making him sleep on his bed. So I wasn't sure if I should ignore all of those signs without causing a "fall out" down the road.

[Melissa Brunoehler]

Hi Again Chris~

I don't want to have him fear me or get so stressed out that he vomits or starts humping things by making him sleep on his bed.


Making him sleep in his own bed wasn't the stressor. It was the change in routine & not knowing what you wanted him to do. If you tether him in the room with access to his bed only and ignore any whining; he will be more relaxed.

[Chris Smith]

Ohhhh...thanks! Glad to hear I'm not making him fear me. There's just so many things I don't know and understand about dogs and how they communicate with us (or us with them)!! I'll stick with the plan and hopefully he'll relax.