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View Full Version : a day in the life of a cat (humor)


Luciann
07-29-2005, 09:38 AM
Day 283 Of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Marne Benner
07-29-2005, 10:13 AM
Sooooooo funny..........and true. :rofl:

Andre Mendizabal
07-29-2005, 10:30 AM
hahaha... its so funny!!!!! ooohhh, how cats and dogs are soooo different... I bet cats are smarter!!!! but dogs are way cuter!!!! :p

Suni Brown
07-29-2005, 10:41 AM
I think this is the most accurate thing I have read in regards to cats! Man, glad I have a dog!

Luciann
07-29-2005, 10:41 AM
Andre

not sure about cats being smarter just more independant...but dogs are DEFINITELY cuter

Summer Magic
07-29-2005, 12:35 PM
I believe this to be a true depiction of the life of a house cat......

Also keep in mind, Dogs have a loving master, while cats have STAFF!

Beth Pladson
07-29-2005, 01:48 PM
That's so hilarous! Having had both dogs and cats in my life, so true! Dogs need you, love you, and want to be with you, sleep at your feet, play with you... cats don't give a rat's as* what your'e doing or who you are or if you're even there, I swear!