Cat...no dog though...

[heathea]

Sorry, I was just hoping someone maybe had an idea?
I have a co-worker/friend who has a slight problem and was wondering if anyone else has had this or has any suggestions for it. She is the proud owner of 2 kitties, she has had them for years and loves them dearly. She has recently started dating a great guy and the first (and so far only) time he stayed the night her male cat sat in the doorway and meowed loudly for hours while they were trying to sleep. She tried closing the door and the cat just scratched at the door, she tried keeping him in and he just kept meowing (loudly). Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions. She called her vet (I think she needs a new vet, btw) and the vet said to play with the cat before bed (tried that) and failing that try to find some information on her own...needless to say she was disappointed and would like an overnight visitor once in a while...:)

thanks!
-Heather

[Luciann]

heather,

just stabbing in the dark but i would guess that the cats are usualy in the bed with your friend and the gentleman, took their bed spot. So the male could be Protesting the invasion of his turf.

how did the gentleman and the cats get along before bedtime? If he is intersted in your friend she might want him to come over more in the evenings/daytime to get the cats use to him and maybe the kitty won't be so upset next time

[Sheryl]

My old cat would 'yell' and scratch at the door if there was any change in what she saw as HER routine. A new partner was definately invasion of her space. When she got used to my boyfriend, and he had fed her treats and let her on his lap, etc, she quieted down and would come and sleep on the bed with both of us. Cats are funny creatures sometimes, not as predictable as dogs. I was a 'cat person' before I was a 'dog person'. I'm still really not sure why.

[Lesly Stevens]

Most cats really don't like changes, especially in their beds! <big grin> This is going to take time and patience, but locking the cat out've the room, as your friend has discovered, isn't going to help!

Hopefully, your friend's boyfriend will be a willing participant in working on a positive resolution for everyone. Since it's futile to try and force a cat to accept someone, I would encourage the boyfriend to spend time in the home (not just during overnights), and to relax and ignore any grumbling protests from the cat. If he has little or no experience with cats, then your friend should clue him in - about things like not going to the cat, but allowing the cat to come to him, how he likes to be touched, and to resist picking the cat up, and so on. He could have treats the cat likes on him, and also offer to play with an interactive toy, but to not "push it." In time, the cat should come to accept him, or at least tolerate him!

Lesly, Maddy, Bo, and the cats,
Babe, Oliver, Lokie, Lucy, Percy, and Ming



Sorry, I was just hoping someone maybe had an idea?
I have a co-worker/friend who has a slight problem and was wondering if anyone else has had this or has any suggestions for it. She is the proud owner of 2 kitties, she has had them for years and loves them dearly. She has recently started dating a great guy and the first (and so far only) time he stayed the night her male cat sat in the doorway and meowed loudly for hours while they were trying to sleep. She tried closing the door and the cat just scratched at the door, she tried keeping him in and he just kept meowing (loudly). Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions. She called her vet (I think she needs a new vet, btw) and the vet said to play with the cat before bed (tried that) and failing that try to find some information on her own...needless to say she was disappointed and would like an overnight visitor once in a while...:)

thanks!
-Heather

[Daniela Jantzen]

Good advice, Lesly, especially this part:


If he has little or no experience with cats, then your friend should clue him in - about things like not going to the cat, but allowing the cat to come to him, how he likes to be touched, and to resist picking the cat up, and so on. He could have treats the cat likes on him, and also offer to play with an interactive toy, but to not "push it." In time, the cat should come to accept him, or at least tolerate him!
.....

Another big factor for the visitors would be to read the cat's body language and react accordingly. Using calming signals can help (blinking, turning the head, walking slow and in bows around the cats) the cats to see the visitors less as an intruder but actually as someone who would like to establish proper interactions and communication.
Something which usually helps with almost every animal: ask your friend to invite the visitor during feeding times and have him hand the bowls to the cat.
More subtile: put a worn T-shirt of the man into the cat's sleeping place so it can get familiar with the unfamiliar scent.
And last but not least: ask your friend to lock out the cats every now and then from the bedroom without someone else present. This way the cat won't associate being locked out with the new partner.

Danny

[Beth Pladson]

Holy moly, Lesly! That's a lot of cats! You must have a busy househould with the dogs and the kitties. My friend has five and it's a zoo with that many. :-D